An Adequate Punishment
by doodlebutt
Summary: Katie's been late to practice so many times.  Oliver decides it's time for punishment,Wood style.  Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but not this time.


**An Adequate Punishment****, Oneshot**

**A Katie/Oliver Fic **pure fluff and humor

**AN/ People (a.k.a. Vicky) started telling me I should write a oneshot so it helps my writing, and I happen to have a list of prompts, so here it is...**

**OMG! My fave word in this oneshot is "hunky-hot"! Totally describes Oliver Wood (Sean Biggerstaff) Hehehehehe, reminds me of "freaky-fresh"...which in turn remind me of "freaky hot" in the song Pop The Glock by Uffie...*boys call me when they feel freaky hot***

**Oh yeah...I wish I had a HP nerd to take me to Universal Orlando so I can see the HP theme park...How much? I haggle!**

**Laytley Oy've bin troying tuuu toype in ah brittash occent. It's very FUNNEH! (ask YourtheTiggertomyWinnie)**

**Thanks for listening to me ramble.**

**Oh yeah, before I forget. I love my semi-beta YourtheTiggertomyWinnie! Semi-beta because we email it instead of using docx. My first somewhat beta-ed. She gave me the idea and made my story funnier. I hope she reads this...because I wrote a long AN so I hope she doesn't skip it. Okay I'll be silent. OOOHHH! Her story is really good! Or what she told me of it anyway...she still hasn't sent it to me to semi-beta it yet (hint hint M)...okay, really shutting up now.**

**Warning: This is SEVERELY OOC. And just pretend Ginny's at the school,and Harry is just one grade lower than Katie, and Oliver and Katie are in the same year (6th year). Kay? Kay. And it might seem slightly crazy, but that's what it's all about :). VERY RANDOM!**

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" I huffed, trying to catch my breath at my hunky-hot Qudditch captain, Oliver Wood. We were standing outside on the Quidditch Pitch, where everyone on my team (except for me) was dressed in their practice robes.

I had just come from a grueling study session in the library. I had run all the way, nonstop, from Madame Pince's Torture Chamber down to Oliver Wood's Torture Chamber, the Quidditch Pitch.

Oliver's might actually be worse.

"Too late, Bell. You've been late to practice four nights in a row. And you know what that means." He said with a smirk. I groaned, and the Weasley twins grinned in anticipation.

"Pun-ish-ment!" Angelicia and Alicia sang, cheesy grins on their faces. I wanted to wipe them off with a dishrag.

Everyone on my team, except for Harry, seemed to be mocking me today. The Twins actually declared today to be "Make-Fun-Of-Katie Day". I was inordinately grateful to him; He was so sweet. "I love you, Harry," putting emphasis on the word "you". He looked alarmed as I pulled him into one of my famous hugs.

Looking over at Oliver, for a second, I thought I saw a flash of jealousy in his eyes. It disappeared after a second, so I guessed I imagined it. Harry started squirming in my arms, so I let go. He scratched the back of his head, and seemed to have difficulty looking at me through his round frames.

"Errmmm...you're very pretty and all, Katie, but I'm sort of...with Ginny now?" He said the last word like a question, so I knew he felt SUPER awkward about the whole thing. I didn't like Harry, you know, THAT way , but oppurtunity kept on knocking.

"What? But I thought you liked me! What, so our little escapade in the greenhouses meant nothing to you? You gave me a ring!" I screeched. Ange and Licia looked at me incredulously for a moment, then their eyes were trained at the sky, trying very hard not to laugh. They were grinning from ear to ear though. Fred and George were already rolling around on the grass, laughing hysterically.

Oliver was just staring at me, his eyes popped out of his head. It was quite funny, really. But, Harry's reaction was the best of all.

He completely went crazy. "How the—what—umm-I don't remember—" He was just stuttering defensively and had this helpless, confused look on his face.

"I'm pregnant!" I declared. Harry turned even redder, and Wood's mouth clunked to the turf. I believe there are grass stains on his chin. I let both boys panic for a moment before a calm "Oi, I'm just kidding, Harry." Ange and Licia were openly giggling right now, and the Twins weren't making a sound.

What?

I did a double take and swiveled my head to look at them. You know that laugh, when you laugh so hard nothing comes out? Well, the Weasley twins were extremely silent.

Oliver had let out an audible sigh of relief. Harry still looked thunderstruck.

I looked expectantly at Oliver, and he cocked his head and mouthed the word "What?" I knew I really didn't want to remind him, but his punishments got worse over time, after he had put enough thought to them. "Your ridiculous punishment?" I prodded.

His expression cleared, a smirk of understanding etched on his face, and he said, "I need to think about it. I'll um, tell you later." Damn. There went my easy, thoughtless, punishments. He was actually going to think about this one.

"Now go change into your robes, Bell." he commanded. I sighed and trooped toward the changing rooms.

Practice was brutal. After I had hurried out of the changing rooms, I had only about 7 minutes of practice left. However, those seven minutes...pure hell.

Oliver made me try to shoot past him 5 times, while both Weasleys beat bludgers at me and Ange and Licia tried to steal my Quaffle. Harry just served as a distraction, swerving in my path and almost colliding into me. I thought I had done a pretty good job, getting three goals in, and maybe a fourth.

Oliver didn't think the fourth one counted because when I was about to shoot my ponytail blew loose and Oliver said my flowing hair had 'distracted' him. Oliver, making excuses again. At least practice was finally over.

"Good practice guys. Katie, don't be late next time, but other than that, nice flying. And your hair rippling in the wind _was _a distraction. Tie it back tighter next time." I notcied he tugged on his collar, when saying this. I raised my eyebrows, and he looked up at the sky while talking. "Johnson, work on your passing, Spinnet, stop being too predictable. I blocked most of your shots. Harry, try faking them out next time, maybe a Feint? Weasleys, good job." Fred and George puffed up their chests and looked proud.

Yeah, they did a good job all right. I had bruises all over my back and sides. They were for sure going to leave a mark. "Practice at seven tomorrow. Be there." He said to everyone while looking at me again. I blushed.

After we showered in the changing rooms, we all headed out through the door together. Oliver had his hand around my waist, but I thought nothing of it.

When we were walking back to the castle,, I swear Harry was muttering, "Katie? What? Can you even get pregnant from a snog session? It must have been Cho, though I didn't see her face. She can't have been blonde! There was dragon dung everywhere..hmm...was it really Katie in the greenhou-Hi Ginny! I love you oh so very much. Would you like me to rub your feet? I will rub your feet. Did I mention I love you? I love you oh so very much." Harry and Ginny stalked off together, with him spouting nonsense. Harry looked desperate, Ginny, mad.

I was up in the common room, sitting on a couch, after post-practice shower, dressed in my comfy tank top and flannel pants. Angelina and Alicia were about twenty ft. away from me, fooling around with Fred and George. They were distracting me from my homework, so I made them leave. I was trying to figure out the properties of Gillyweed for my Potions essay, when Oliver came in through the portrait.

He made a beeline toward me, and I gulped. He must have already thought of his punishment. He stood in front me, towering at my seated figure. I expected a "no more cookies" or "wear a dress" or something horrendous like that but definitely not a "Can I sit next to you?" Surprised, I only nodded. "Gillyweed...ummm...allows it's user to breathe underwater...what else..." I thought aloud.

"Gillyweed is also used in a popular beverage, called Gillywater, which is a less concentrated form. It is an acquired taste." Oliver put in helpfully. I stared at him. "Oh, um, Aunt owns gourmet wizard restaurant," He said, embarrassed. I finally looked back at my paper, and wrote that stuff down.

"Done." I said, 10 minutes later. Oliver was still sitting next to me, not reading or doing anything. He seemed to be content with just staring at me. I knew the Ali and Ange were watching with rapt attention. Damnit. They were going to have a field day.

"Umm.." I muttered nervously, tucking my hair behind my ear. For some reason I felt self-conscious. All of a sudden he grinned widely. "What?" I inquired curiously.

"I just thought of your perfect punishment. But, what it comes with you may not like." He looked at me expectantly.

"What is it?" I said impatiently, wanting to get it over with.

"You. Be my girlfriend for a day." I stared at him, shocked.

"W-w-what?" I managed to stammer, my eyes wide.

"You heard me. You'll see what I mean by punishment."

"Then what's the bad part?" I whined, not liking this at all. But if going out with Oliver was bad, the next thing was probably worse.

"You have to wear your hair down, also, for that day." Damn. I hated my hair down.

"But whyyyyy? I hate it, Ol. It's always in my face and...everything. I'll tell a teacher on you."

"Would you rather give Snape a bath? Honestly, if you saved all of the oil from his nose, you could deep fry several fish. So nope. Just don't be late to practice tomorrow. Night, Katie."

"Hmph." I scoffed. He got up from the couch, gave me a quick hug that I didn't respond to, walked up the stairs, and disappeared into his dormitory. I just stared after him, open-mouthed.

Ugh. I just knew what was waiting inside. I stood outside my dormitory door, weighing the pros and cons of facing Ange and Licia and sleeping in the common room.

I decided common room.

I turned around and started walking, but suddenly the door opened, a hand grabbed my shoulder, and yanked me inside.

Alicia still had a firm grip on me, as both Angelina and Alicia looked at me ferociously. No way out. Damn. Maybe I could spend the night with Oliver if I ran for it. But get your mind out of the gutter first.

"Spill. Now. And don't even think about running." Angelina growled. Stalling, I said innocently, "Spill what?"

Ange's eyes narrowed and Alicia stroked her chin thoughtfully.

"Hmmm. I don't really know. Maybe it's beans? But why would you want to spill beans?" Alicia, after her _interesting _discovery, looked around at all of us and said, "What?"

Honestly, wow.

Angelina just steamrollered on. "Tell us what happened on the couch with you and Oliver. You looked ah, very _comfortable_."

"Oh erm, he was just helping me with homework. Nothing big." I neglected telling them about my 'punishment' for fear they would explode. From anger or excitement, I wasn't sure. Alicia's hand loosened, and I ran for my life to the bathrooms so I could shower before bed.

"You can't run from us forever," Angelina called, her voice fading as the door slammed shut.

"I sure as hell can try," I whispered to myself as I turned the sink on.

The next morning, I woke up to Oliver.

No, honestly.

His face was centimeters from mine. _Kissing distance, _my subconscious thought. I didn't hear it though. Maybe that's why its my _subconscious._ I just stared up at him and he stared right back until I grasped the gravity of the situation.

My eyes widened, and I gave a strangled sort of yell and threw my arms up, and on accident (maybe a little tiny bit on purpose) my flailing arms connected with the side of his head. He jumped back with a hurt look on his face, rubbing his head tenderly. "Oliver...?" I whispered. "What are you doing here? How did you get up?"

With all this talking, Angelina, the lightest sleeper, must be listening. And Alicia's snoring had ceased. That meant she was awake. He better not say something related to last night.

" McGonagall gave me special permission. And I came up to wake up my lovely girlfriend." Damn. Damn. Da—

With loud shrieks, Angelina and Alicia leaped out of their beds and jumped onto mine. They both landed at the same time, so I was lifted bodily and thrown on the floor, on my bum.

"We knew it woud happen! When? Where? What did he say? Was it yesterday? Don't you think that's kind of fast?"

I just stared at them. They were talking in perfect synchronization, like how the Twins spoke. And Angelina was hyper all the time, but Alicia? She was the QUEEN of sleep. Anybody who woke her up (or tried to) was beheaded. By a rusty axe she kept under her pillow. No lie. Said it helped her head stability or something like that. Oliver still has a scar on his neck from his attempts at getting her to wake up for dawn practices.

Did I mention I think scars are sexy?

Whoa, where did that come from?

Meh. Whatever. Everyone thinks scars are sexy.

"Calm down, calm down. Me and Oliver are not going out, nor is he my boyfriend." I figured that if I had to do this, I might not at least let anybody know.

Oliver gave me a 'tsk, tsk' before interrupting. "Actually, Katie _is _my girlfriend. I asked her last night and she said yes."

They squealed. "Oh, I'm so happy for you Katie!" Angelina, of course.

My mouth was still wide open in shock. Oliver held my gaze until his eyes began to travel downward...

"Ack! Stop looking, you sick pervert!" I uselessly tried to cover up with my hands my tank top and mini shorts. Why oh why did it have to be a hot night? After I decided it was no use, I reached over and smacked him on the side of the head again. He just shook his head and chuckled. "Don't forget to wear your hair down today. Meet you in the common room, Katie." he said as he walked out the door.

Silence. Damn.

I closed my eyes.

"Muffliato," I said, pointing my wand to myself.

Angelina and Alicia's questions didn't bother me at all when I was getting ready. It was all a pleasant hum; plus it was quite comical to see Alicia screaming at me but not being able to hear it. After dressing, I dutifully, I let my hair out of the bun I slept with, and it fell down to my waist in gold waves. I was glad my hair was blonde because it complemented my liquid-like green eyes.

Almost instantaneously, Angelina grabbed my arms and forced me down to a chair while Alicia attacked me with mousse and a makeup brush. After that, she poked me with a mascara wand and prodded me with a concealer stick. I fought them off as valiantly as I could; but t'was a hopeless task.

I managed to hit Angelina though, but for that she muttered the Muffliato countercurse at me. Not only was I a human Barbie doll to my friends, I had to hear them too. They asked me numerous questions about me and Oliver; I stayed tight-lipped until Alicia used this weird lip gloss wand thingy, where I had to open my mouth so she could spread some shiny pink goo on my lips. Finally, after much whining and complaining, she was done.

Angelina stopped restraining me, and I bolted to the mirror. I was scared they had made me look like a clown, or worse; one of Wood's fangirls. However, a girl with shiny waist-length waves, smoky eyes, magnificent complexion, and pale pink lips stared at me. She seemed to mimic every move I made. That was weird.

"Is this mirror enchanted or something?" I said as I looked at Alicia (trying to wriggle into a shirt).

"Nope, that's just you, silly. We did good, didn't we?"

"Up top, sister."

Long pause.

"Never mind." Of course, we forgot. Angelina's a muggleborn.

I was walking down to the common room, Alicia and Angelina flanking me, and I saw Oliver. His back was to me. I wanted to sneak past everyone, because there was more people in the common room than usual and I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

So of course, Fred and George had to yell out, "TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU, KATIEKINS!"

Every head in the room swiveled toward me. I tried to hide between Angelina and Alicia as we walked toward the Twins and Oliver. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore the whispers coming at me from every angle.

"What are you lot whispering about? What's so interesting about me anyway?" I said loudly, a fierce scowl on my face. I looked around the room, daring anyone to challenge me.

I didn't know why they were whispering, though. Is it because all this makeup on me was too ugly?

"No, it's not your makeup. You've been a tomboy for six years, Katie. It's just sort of a surprise." Alicia consoled me, reading my mind. I sighed, and looked over at Oliver. He was staring at me with this thoughtless grin on his face. I stalked over to him, and waved my hand in front of his eyes. "Earth to Oliver! Hello? Anybody there?" 

He just kept staring and smiling at me, and rubbing his neck. It was a cute smile, one of childhood innocence and older mischief. "Why are you rubbing your neck?" I asked him.

"cough-whiplash-cough" Angelina coughed. I-what? My eyes widened. Oliver had whiplash? At her cough, said person seemed to snap out of his trance. It was very funny, he even gave a funny little jump and shook his head. I noticed everyone was still watching us, just not whispering about it.

He swooped down, gave me a kiss on the cheek (it felt like it was burning) and greeted me, "Good morning, Katie." Everyone noticed that kiss! It was on the cheek, but only the idiots couldn't figure out he was my *** **imaginary air quotes * boyfriend.

He slipped an arm around my waist and dragged me to the portrait hole for breakfast.

Great.

Now the idiots knew.

We had just stepped out of the common room when it started. Wow, news travels fast.

I was glad for my chaser reflexes; I dodged a barrage of quills. Girls were kicking me and tripping me openly.

Sandy Rivers; the biggest bitch in the school (and with a personality faker than her breasts—Witch Imelda's Ingenious Implants' always looked fake, always use 'Healer Hilga's Grow-A-Boobs'-not that I would know) hissed, "Oliver belongs to me, get your hands off him," and actually spat on me. Yes, spit. In my face. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there like an idiot until Oliver took out his checkered handkerchief and dabbed the spit off my cheek. "All better," he said and he kissed me on the nose.

I smiled at Oliver. That boy was too sweet for his own good.

I turned my head and smirked with smug elation at Sandy. She just gritted her porcelain veneers, fury in her heavily mascara-ed eyes. Hah, vengeance!

But now I had a bunch more bruises to add to my trophy case (my body).

"Why are all of these girls hurting me? Oliverrr...cast a shield charm or something so they can stop hitting me...Ow! Hey, you, third year with the freckles! You've got a good kick, let me show you how to make it better!" I lunged toward the demon spawn but tripped over a high-heeled foot. I would have fallen, but Oliver's hands were still tight around my waist.

"Katie, you know...this is your punishment. How do you like it? It's like torture, without me getting my hands dirty." He grinned and poked me in the ribs. I winced, and his mocking expression turned into one of worry.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No...ow. I've just got a lot of bruises to add to the Weasleys from yesterday." "He lifted up my shirt to a little above my bellybutton, and I protested. "Hey! What the _ are you doing?" He gasped (a cute gasp) when he saw my midsection.

"Hey, don't look so surprised. I'm not that fat." I looked down and couldn't help but give a small little 'oh' of my own. Mottled purple bruises of varying sizes traveled around from my back all the way around. My whole torso (and both my legs, I suspected) were covered in bruises. From all those fangirls. "Oliver! Look what your punishment has done!"

"It's your punishment! Therefore your fault!" He protested weakly, still staring at my stomach. I knew he was breaking.

"I want to take you to Madame Pomfrey. Maybe she can fix all of them up." We were already in the great hall, and the aroma of muffins and syrup was too enticing to pass up.

"No, Oliver. I need sustenance. Just don't touch me." "He nodded, but nevertheless slipped a hand around my shoulders. He was 6 "5, so it was easy. I'm 5" 8. I rested my head comfortably on his chest as we walked to the secluded end of the table by the teachers.

During the breakfast, Oliver and I talked about stuff. I found out he thought about other things other than Quidditch. Like, he had a sister named Miranda, his middle name was Alban, and his first broom was named Dolly. He said it was some muggle singer named Dolly Parton. Never heard of her.

He found out several things about me as well, such as I only wore ankle socks, I enjoyed watching the muggle crime shows Monk and NCIS, and that I loved chocolate-covered kiwis, which I was presently eating.

Yummy.

I'd rather eat them off Oliver's chest, though.

Huh?

Figuratively, shove that thought. It's Wood we're talking about here.

A literal hard shove brought me out of my thoughts. Even though we were right in front of the teachers, this time instead of kicking me, the crazy obsessed fangirls of Wood just did some "purposely on accident" things to me. They mostly bumped into my exposed back. That proved to be dangerous, as I liked to lick my knife.

Some of the more daring ones spilled crumbs on me or threw forks. Now my shirt was itchy and I had fork point indents everywhere. I was rubbing my back, with Wood looking all concerned at me, when Cedric Diggory slid into the seat next to me. Oliver was sitting across from me so he couldn't do much about it. He did, however, kick him, but Diggory simply swung his legs around the bench so Wood couldn't reach them.

"So, Katie. You're looking good today."

"Um, thanks?" What? Why is this boy, who is the second hottest guy in Hogwarts, paying attention to me?

"How 'bout you ditch this loser and go out with me to Hogsmeade?" Ugh! That pig! Go dig an ory for all I care.

From the corner of my eye I could see Alicia and Angelina whispering and pointing at me from the other end of the table. The Weasleys just kept stuffing their faces so I suspect the girls had already told them. I sorta spaced out from the conversation and stared at my two self-proclaimed best friends. They just looked away swiftly, giggling. Ooohh...I am SO gonna—

"Katie? You there, Kates?" Oh no he didn't (insert finger snap and head shake)! He just crossed 'the line'. Nobody 'cept for Oliver is supposed to call me Kates! And who did he think he was, God's gift to women?

Wait, he's Cedric Diggory, he probably does.

I hated men like that. And besides, I was "going out" with Oliver! The nerve!

"Katieee...do you want a bagel? The honey ones are sweet, though I'd rather have you." Ugh. A pick up line, and a bad one at that. Oliver had just been staring at Diggory with a frosty gaze.

"You know what I want?" I said sweetly, turning to face Diggory and tapping his nose with my forefinger.

"What? What do you want? I've smuggled girls from other houses into my dormitory before, so I know it works." He said earnestly. I hated to burst his bubble, but he was such a player!

"I want..." I started in my sugar coated voice. Diggory leaned forward impatiently. "For you to shove that honey covered bagel up your arse." I said huskily. I wanted to make him go away and be gone. Oliver was looking proud.

But nooooo(stretch out no into 5 syllables). Diggory just had to be an idiot. One that took things too literally.

"Really? Is that some kinky bedroom thing? I'd be glad to try...with you." Oh my dearie me. He just didn't get it didn't he? Time to resort to more violent tactics, because Oliver's ears were starting to turn red.

I leaned in to the side of Diggory's face, so my mouth was next to his ear. He just was staying still, his breath hitching a bit. He probably thought I was going to talk dirty to him or give him a hickey. Well...

"DIGGORY! IF YOU *bleeping* DO NOT GET YOUR *bleeping* UGLY *bleep*FACE AND SMALL * bleep * OUT OF MY SIGHT IN THREE * bleeping * SECONDS I WILL BE FORCED TO UNLEASH THE *bleeeeeeeeeeeeep*TWINS!" I yelled. Talk dirty, all right I didn't want him to think I was inviting him to grope my breasts so I added, "*bleeeeping* Weasleys." He paled. For good measure I slapped him on the back of the head.

The Hall was completely silent.

Everyone had heard everything and was looking at our little argument. Angelina and Alicia were staring in shock at me; Ange's juice was dripping out of her mouth. The Weasleys looked like they were about to protest.

"Hey, we charge!" Fred piped up. I shot him a death glare.

"But we can...ah...always make exceptions for you, dear Katie..." he finished nervously. Oliver looked as if he was about to die from laughter. Well, at least I made somebody happy.

Cedric Diggory, the caring, sensitive man he was, ran out of the Hall sobbing.

There was much whispering and pointed glances after that.

After breakfast, and after Pomfrey fully healed me, Oliver walked me to History of Magic. It was the most boring class..at least I had the next Transfiguration class with him. Oh, and I guess after I turned down one of Hogwart's most eligible bachelors—ahem, Diggory? Really? Ugleee—I became sort of a challenge.

Random guys kept on asking me out everywhere. A few of them looked okay, but I knew I was just a trophy to them. I would just latch on to their arm and they would just parade me around like a french poodle. I rejected all of them(of course I would!). I knew Oliver would never degrade me that way, though. He was such a sweetie. A soft-hearted, big muscled, freakishly handsome sweetie. Mine. Ha!

This is how my conversations in the hallways on the way to classes went:

"Thomas, I am way older than you. No. And you don't have anything to shave, there's no need to nick yourself. It looks like acne. Oh it is? Sorry. That's a bug bite, though. Yes, some calamine lotion should soothe it."

"No. Macmillan, I mean it. Because you are a pompous prat. Oh did that come out of my mouth? I meant it..."

"Creevey, you have got to be kidding me."

"Zabini, I would never date a Slytherin. And even if you were Ravenclaw, I wouldn't want a pretty pansy like you." Oliver pouted at this. "Don't worry Ollie, I think you're cute."

It kept coming.

"Why did you just ask me if my dad was a terrorist? And what is this bomb you speak of? Me?"

"Who are you?"

"Do I need to tell your grandmother, Longbottom?"

"No. No. No. Stop asking me! No."

"Aren't you gay?"

"Hi Fred," _SMACK!_

"Ron, where's Lavender? You want me to be quiet? She's too clingy for you? OH LAVENDER...RONNIE BABY IS HERE IN THE EAST WING, HEADING TOWARD CHARMS! HE IS CURRENTLY SHIELDING HIS FACE WITH 'ADVANCED POTION MAKING, GRADE 5'. OH, NOW IT'S 'FANTASTIC BEASTS AND HOW TO TAME THEM'!"

"No, Creevey."

"Please be gay. Please be gay. Are you—dammit."

"Yes, mmm-hmm. I'm sorry you hurt your feelings. Suck it up,you big baby."

"My name is not 'tater'. It is 'katie'."

"I am not a garden, either, and I also have no desire to put your 'two-lips' and my 'two-lips' together."

"Creevey, do I have to spell it out for you?" "That was a figure of speech." "N-O I-W-I-L-L N-O-T G-O O-U-T W-I-T-H Y-O-U. You didn't have a quill? Too bad."

"Yes, I will.* long pause where everyone looks at me in amazement * No need to start panting like a peeing puppy. I was kidding. Go away."

"If I even touched your hair, then I wouldn't need hand lotion for a year. So why would I want to run my fingers through it?"

"Professor Dumbledore. I'm sure you're fond of your beard,yes? How would you like it around your neck in a, ah, noose like fashion, so I can hang you from the Astronomy tower?"

"I'm scared your mohawk will impale me at night, thanks."

"Finnigan, you better be asking me about homework."

"CREEVEY!"

Oliver was very nice and stayed with me the whole time. He had this half-amused, half scared look on his face. It was nice to have a big, strong Quidditch player as your boyfriend.

I mean...FAKE boyfriend.

I believe if he wasn't there the...weird ones would start asking me out. You know, the ones that look like Millicent Bulstrode. Boys AND girls.

I tried to be nice, I really did. But it got annoying, and repetitive. My fuse got shorter every-stinking-time.

It blew up at lunch.

"DAVIES, SOD OFF BEFORE I GET MCGONAGALL TO CASTRATE YOU WITH HER DENTURES! THEY WILL BE GNAWED OFF. I COULD SHARPEN THEM BUT DULL BLADES ARE MORE PAINFUL. Now go away before you're ball-less with them hanging from your nose like an elephant."

Davies glanced once, up at the teacher's table before running away, and I swear I saw Mcgonagall lick her lips and eye Davies hungrily.

The flow of boys (I could hardly call any of them men, only Oliver, my man) lessened a bit after that.

This punishment was hell. I hated it. I never liked boys chasing me, or chasing boys. I just wanted one, the right one.

Oliver was a perfect 'fake' one. Awww...I'm making myself sad! I wish he was my real one though.

Wait.

Did I think that?

Oh My God.

I like Oliver. Oh sh— "So, Katie. Do you think I picked a good consequence?"

"Too good, Oliver. I'm hoarse from all that yelling and I have bruises everywhere," I said in a raspy voice, rubbing my leg. He moved closer and started giving me a massage, right in the middle of dinner.

Gawsh, I was turning to mush. He was such a sweetie. "Thanks, Ol." I said, in peace, closing my eyes. Not really thinking of what I was doing, and letting my hormones guide me, I turned around and pecked him on the corner of his mouth. He froze, and I noticed, but I ignored it.

"Go on, keep on going," I motioned him to resume, my back to him again. I felt so ashamed. I could practically hear him thinking hard behind me, using his magic fingers on my shoulders.

I just hope he was thinking positive.

After dinner, me and Oliver went up to the common room to sit in front of the fireplaces, alone. It was a very comfortable silence. I enjoyed it. Until a scrawny second year said, "I need help. I don't know where I am." I thought it was stupid that somebody not know where they were in the common room, but what do you know, young kids are generally stupid. Oliver was looking at the kid, an amused smile on his face.

"Sure, I'll help. Whaddya need?"

"A map. I keep on getting lost in those swirling green pools you call eyes." His dumb pick-up line hadn't even sunk in before he bolted away. I shook my head and sank into Oliver's chest, his arms around me. It was…heavenly. I'm sure after I'm dead I'll be laying in these arms for a very long time. His chest was really hard because of his pecs and rock hard eight-pack, but so soft at the same time. And he wasn't SUPER ripped like those really gross muggle body-builders; just enough to make you drool.

Which I was presently doing.

But I was tired of being pick-up-lined and kicked and shoved and forked...

"I can't take anymore of this, Oliver." right before a girl decides to throw my jacket into the fire. I hated it anyway, oh well.

He had been very silent today, except when we were alone.

"Well, you're going to have to cope with it everyday."

"Wait. What?" Huh? Does that mean what I think it means?

"Katie, would you like to be my girlfriend? My real one? I've liked you since third year. I just couldn't wait anymore, I just had to take matters into my own hands. That little tyke was right. I always did get lost in those swirling green pools. Feel free to reject me, and you can publically dump me tomorrow. But know, I'll always wait for you." He took both my hands in his own and stared deep into my eyes.

Green met brown.

Chocolate covered kiwis.

My favorite.

I was in shock. My heart felt as though it had suddenly grown bigger and would burst out of my chest any second and my mind was going a mile a minute. I was completely incapable of comprehensive thought. So I did the only thing I could do.

Teenage hormones rule the world!

I kissed him, let my tongue do the talking. Passionately. He instinctively put his arms around my waist, and I twined my fingers through his hair. After a few sweet moments, he suddenly he pulled back.

"I'll take that as a yes then?" He said smiled breathlessly, still looking manly.

"Hell yeah," I smirked as I reeled him in again.

A girl could get used to this.

_**10 minutes later, coming up for air**_

"Oliver?"

"What, my dear Kates?"

"I think I like this punishment."

"Katie?"

"Hmmm?"

"Wear your hair down tomorrow."

"I'm breaking up with you."

_**LATER, HEADMASTER'S STUDY WHERE TEACHERS ARE LAYING DOWN ON THEIR STOMACHS IN A CIRCLE AROUND A BOWL OF POPCORN, SLEEPOVER STYLE**_

"So who's turn is it now?" Professor Snape drawled.

"Who went last?" Mcgonagall asked.

"I believe I did when Flitwick made me court her; Delightful girl, she is. She asked me if I wanted her to hang me from the Astronomy Tower by my beard." said Dumbledore.

"You will not tarnish the reputation of my ancestors!" Professor Trelawney shrieked.

Everyone there ignored her, and Professor Dumbledore continued.

"So...Binns, truth or dare?"

**AN: Aww, sweet right? Read below, important!**

**PLEASE REVIEW, MY FIRST ONESHOT! :)**

**If you could review, that would make my day! And in your review, could you answer some questions?**

**A. Did you enjoy it? What was your favorite/funniest part?**

**B. Didya like it? Are you gonna give me a review? As long as you can?**

**C. Read below before you answer this one: Should Lily not be with James yet or is She Jame's girlfriend already?**

**AND YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO ANSWER alllll OF THEM….JUST REVIEW!**

**PPS: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAYS OR LESBIANS...MY FRIEND IS BI**

All right. I'm going to write a JP/LE next so here's a phrase that should help you understand:

Lily's father is a muggle doctor. On Christmas holiday, James is there for an apparent reason and he finds...anatomy books.

**And I think it's going to be a oneshot.**


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